This month, many of you have been embarking on new College or Uni courses or returning after being away for the summer, and are now finding yourselves mixing with hundreds and possibly thousands of people from all over the world…plus millions of germs!

The Meningitis Research Foundations message is – Don’t drop out because of Meningitis!

Familiarise yourself with the symptoms of Meningitis (inflammation around the brain and spinal cord) and Septicaemia (the blood poising form of the disease) on their awareness poster below…

The Meningitis Research Foundation suggest that you do the following:

• Check out the symptoms
• If you’re feeling really bad, tell someone
• If a mate’s looking rough, stick around
• If it gets worse fast, get medical help immediately

By knowing the symptoms, you could save a life, you could save your life!..

http://www.meningitis.org/disease-info/what-are-meningitis-septicaemia

KH-C.

10th September – World Suicide Prevention Day

17th September – Sexual Health Awareness Week &
Meningitis Awareness Week

28th September - World’s Biggest Coffee Morning

29th September – World Heart Day

My Best Friend is Gay!
What shall I do? My best friend of 5 years has just told me she’s a lesbian. I don’t have a problem with it but recently she’s been getting jealous when I talk to a boy. What should I do?
R, 17
Dear R
I feel that you need to talk to her about your sense that she is jealous because you probably have thoughts in your own mind about why that jealousy is there. You might have   questioned in your own mind whether your friend is attracted to you or not and if she is having feelings for you then it might help for the two of you to talk that through. If you have been friends for five years already then I imagine you must be pretty close to one another. If you don’t talk about this with her and everything stays underground it could slowly drive you apart or make things awkward between you and that would be a shame. It isn’t always easy to be truly honest with ourselves or with others when it comes to exploring our sexuality so I appreciate this must feel like a very sensitive area.

Is she a Girl or a Boy?
My best friend has just told me that she was born a boy  I still love her the same but don’t really know how to take it, I think I should tell her how I feel about it but I’m worried because I don’t know how well she will take it. Please help!!! 
Dear S
The most important thing about this for you and for your friend is that you both know that you still love her the same. This is an enormously intimate thing for her to share with you and equally an enormous thing for you to digest and take in. You will need time to adjust to such big news so be patient with yourself. I think you have both been very brave to be open with one another and to trust that your friendship will still be there. She must have gone through a long and difficult process to come to terms with her gender identity so I imagine she will understand that now you also have a process of your own to come to terms with it. Talk to her. I am sure she feels less alone now that she has shared this with you, and you will feel less alone if you share how you feel with her.

Food supplements as the name suggests, are concentrated sources of nutrients that can be used to boost your normal diet. There are natural and artificial supplements. Natural supplements have been available for ages and in the past 80 years use of artificial supplements has grown tremendously. Supplements are sold as capsules and in liquid form in pharmacies, supermarkets and speciality health shops.

Different types of supplements

There different types of supplements which include multinutrient supplements, herbal supplements and bodybuilding supplements. Multinutrient supplements include different combination of vitamins and minerals are consumed to help a healthy body function smoothly and can be a good safeguard against periodic nutrient shortfalls in your diet. Herbal supplements consumed for centuries are used for both nutritional and medicinal purposes. Bodybuilding supplements are used by people who work out to increase energy levels and improve athletic performance.

Why supplements?

Most teens now days are very health and image conscious. They want plush skin, toned muscles and good looking hair. Multinutrient supplements containing vitamins and Omega-3 oils can help to nourish the skin, Omega 3 essential fatty acids especially help in glowing skin and strong hair. Protein and energy supplements are used to help build those toned muscles.

Where should you get them?

The nutritional supplements market is so convoluted and confusing. There are so many people claiming their products pay dividends, however some products especially those sourced from outside the EU are not regulated. The general rule is; if you decide to consume supplements then stick to established brand and get them from reputable suppliers.

A balanced diet

There are obvious positive benefits to taking supplements but supplements are not intended to replace food.  A well balanced diet is the key to healthy nourishment.

MigMag have spoken to Testicular Cancer survivor, Ian Broughall. Ian, ex-Nokia Project Manager, founder of Samian Solutions & avid footie fan, now actively campaigns for the need for early detection of the male disease through self – examination. Last year, Ian produced the brilliant video for the ‘Check Your Balls’ Campaign, which aims to raise awareness of the need for all males, to regularly check their ‘balls’ for any unusual lumps!

First we will tell you a little bit about Testicular Cancer.

Read more…

Testicular Cancer is a lump or ‘tumour’ that grows inside the testicles. The testicles produce sperm and testosterone, therefore being important in male sexual development and the male reproductive system.

The most common type of Testicular Cancer (around 95% of all cases), is the type of cancer known as ‘Germ Cell Testicular Cancer’. Germ cells are ‘reproductive’ cells, so in males, the germ cells job is to produce sperm, hence why the germ cell tumours usually develop in the testicles!

There are two main sub – types of ‘Germ Cell Testicular Cancer’, these are; ‘Seminomas’ (which ‘usually’ only affect males between 25 – 55 years old) and ‘Non-Seminomatous’ Germ Cell Tumours (NSGCT’s).

It is the Non-Seminomatous Germ Cell Tumours (also called ‘Teratomas’) that are the most common type of Testicular Cancer to affect younger males of between 15 – 35 years old!!

The possible signs or symptoms of Testicular Cancer are; a lump or swelling in one part of the testicle (that can be the size of a pea and usually painless), a dull ache or feeling of heaviness in the scrotum (the ‘Scrotum’ is the soft sac of skin that contains the testicles and lies just underneath the penis) or a dull ache in the lower abdomen.

It is uncommon for Testicular Cancer to spread to other parts of the body, but if it has, there could be a constant dull back ache (if the cancer has spread to the abdomen) or further lumps appearing in other parts of the body. Some testicular cancers spread to the lymph nodes and lungs, the symptoms would be; coughing, swelling of the chest and difficulties in breathing and swallowing.

Initial diagnosis by a GP, would involve a physical examination of the area and possibly shining a small torch against the lump, to see if light passes through it. If light does pass through, that is good news, as cancerous lumps are usually solid, not allowing light to shine through them! If a lump is suspected as being cancerous, the GP will refer the patient to hospital for further tests, which may be blood tests (to check for hormone levels) a scrotal ultrasound and a biopsy to confirm diagnosis.

During a biopsy, the hospital specialist may decide to completely remove the testicle by a procedure known as an ‘Orchidectomy’. This is often considered to be the safest option if cancer is suspected. Further tests will be carried out if specialists suspect that the cancer has spread, that could be an X-Ray, MRI or CT scans and further blood tests.

Testicular Cancer ‘is’ treatable and favourable compared to other types of cancer, but the outlook really depends on the ‘Stage’ that the disease is at when diagnosed, which means that it depends on the size of the tumour & whether it has spread.

The treatment plan offered to a testicular cancer patient will depend on the ‘type’ of testicular cancer and the ‘stage’ that it is at. After the initial Orchidectomy (removal of the testicle), treatment could involve; Testosterone Replacement Therapy (if both Testicles have been removed), Lymph Node Surgery, Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy. Each form of treatment also comes with different risks & side effects. Testicular Cancer cannot be prevented, but by living as healthy a life as possible, through eating well, exercising and not smoking, the risks of disease will be decreased.

Of course, the most important thing any male can do for himself with regard to the detection of testicular cancer, is to check his testicles regularly for any unusual lumps. The earlier the detection, the easier the cancer is to treat! The advice is for all young men to check themselves at least monthly, after a warm bath or shower! Ian Broughall knows only too well, how important it is, not to ignore any lump or symptom!

New MigMag ‘Well-Being’ team member, Kim, spoke to Ian about his experiences of being diagnosed with the disease. Ian initially thought that his lump was just a hernia……

KH-C.   Ian, when were you first diagnosed with Testicular Cancer?

IB.   It was the 13^th of June, 1985, I was 28 years old.

KH-C.   What were your symptoms, Ian, and do you remember how long you had been having them?

IB.   I remember…I had two young kids, we had just bought a house and I had been moving furniture, it was on the Sunday morning that I realised that my testicles had swollen, I thought it was a hernia.

KH-C.   How were you diagnosed?

IB.   Well, I went to the doctors on the Monday morning and by 12pm I was up the hospital! I had it [the tumour] taken out the next day!

KH-C.   That, quick? How did this make you feel?

IB.   Well, they sent the lump off to have it analysed, I had to wait two weeks to find out. My doctor was Ben Mead, one of the best cancer specialists in the country, so that helped…

KH-C.   What type of Testicular Cancer did you have?

IB.   It was a Teratoma, there are different kinds…I’d never heard of it before.

KH-C.   What happened next, Ian?

IB.   Well, I had all different tests, CT Scans, then the results came back that the cancer had spread to my lungs, liver and stomach…

KH-C.   Oh no, Ian! What treatment did you have?

IB.   In the July, I started Chemotherapy which lasted for the next year and finished in the July or August.  Because of the Chemotherapy you have a routine, because you spend one week in hospital, then two weeks at home recovering, then you start to feel a bit better, but I use to go to work on the third week when I felt a bit better – then I would go back into hospital for another week of it. It makes you feel so unwell, more than the cancer itself – you see, Chemotherapy is a form of Platinum that is pumped into your blood. Someone once explained it to me that it is like a Pac man…the Chemotherapy gradually eats away at the tumour like in the Pac man game.

KH-C.   How did you cope with all your treatment, both physically & emotionally?

IB.   It made me feel like death! Being wildly sick and peeing myself, lost my hair. I wore a wig that looked like Boris Johnson, when my colleagues at work teased me, I use to take it off and throw it at them, all in good humour. They were a good bunch and very supportive and understanding of my illness. My kids…well Kevin was older, but my daughter didn’t understand, as her dad who had been a happy, jolly man…had become grumpy and thin, with no hair.

KH-C.   Has the cancer ever returned?

IB. No, after the year of Chemo, the treatment came to an end and I thought “what now?” Ben Mead, the specialist, jokingly told me that I could now ‘B****r off’ as he had fixed me, because he now had others to fix! I remember feeling so lucky, as on my ward there were 4 men, myself and the 3 others, James, David & Alan, I was the only one who survived, they didn’t make it…

KH-C.  Ian, when did you start your ‘Check Your Balls’ Campaign?

IB.   Well, after moving back to the UK from Asia, I started fundraising with Bob Champion in 2007, for ‘The Bob Champion Cancer Trust’. Bob has also survived Testicular Cancer, he is my friend and neighbour here in Cambridge and fundraising with him helped get the whole thing going, it went from there and I got involved in a few fundraising and charity things. The movie, ‘Champions’ staring John Hurt, is about Bob and his fight against cancer, people should watch it if they haven’t seen it.

KH-C.   It’s Blue September Month – what else are you doing this month to raise awareness of Testicular Cancer?

IB.   I’m using social media sites such as Twitter, Facebook & Google+ to help raise awareness, posting and sharing my video that I produced. The ‘Check Your Balls’ video stars Sven Goran Ericsson look alike – Derek Williams and Page 3 model – Sabine Jemeljanov.

KH-C.   Is that your son in the video too?

IB.   Yes, that’s my son, Kevin, he was the only one who was bold enough to ‘check his balls’ in the video!

KH-C.   What advice would you give to all young men?

IB.   Somebody once said to me, “It’s better to be embarrassed and alive than to be shy and dead”! Cancer doesn’t hurt, it’s the treatment hurts! Cancer needs to be caught early before it spreads, us boys don’t mature as quick as girls, girls talk to each other more, but boys have got to start checking their balls like girls check their breasts, start talking to each other and go to the doctor if they find anything!

KH-C.   Thank you again, Ian, for speaking to us about your personal experience of having Testicular Cancer.

IB.   You are very welcome!

Remember guys, please ‘Check Your Balls!’

References:

http://cancerhelp.cancerresearchuk.org/type/testicular-cancer/about/testicular-cancer-symptoms

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Cancertypes/Testes/Testicularcancer.aspx

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Cancer-of-the-testicle/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Any medical information referred to in this article is given for information purposes only and is not intended to constitute professional advice. If you are concerned about anything at all that has been raised in this article, please seek a consultation with a qualified medical practitioner. In other words, go and see your doctor!

The consequences of this can be devastating from self-esteem issues, depression and other mental health conditions to underachievement at school. MigMag talks to 2 young people about their personal experiences.

Brittanys’ Experience

SG: How old are you?
BH:I’m 18, in my last year of Sixth Form College.

SG: How old were you when you came out?
BH: I came out to my friends when I was 16 – it was the first term of college.

SG: What age were you when you began to be aware that you were attracted to girls?
BH: I was 13 when I began to think that I thought of girls in a different way from my friends, although I was going out with a boy at the time.

SG: So you have been in a heterosexual relationship?
BH: In a fashion, it’s quite complicated.

SG: If it complicated, shall we start from the beginning? Firstly, your attraction to girls how did you know it was different from what your friends thought?
BH: Ok, so when we were out in shopping malls, pictures, or even school anywhere, everywhere – my friends would comment on ‘fit’ boys. I didn’t know what they were talking about I just didn’t find them attractive.

SG: Not all boys are attractive. Surely you could appreciate beauty, much in the same way girls would appreciate other girls being ‘pretty’?
BH: Yes, there were good looking boys but nothing that made my tummy turn upside down – is that sexual chemistry. I just knew when I looked at girls I was checking them out looking specifically at different areas of their body and feeling excited and not thinking ‘oh I wish my body looked like that’! So it wasn’t a case of she’s pretty, she’s got a perfect body – B***CH!

SG: Did you confide in anyone how you felt?
BH: No, there were reasons firstly I was going out with someone, so I thought nobody would believe me. Also I wanted to be like everyone else. It was a confusing time.

SG: The boy you went out with at the time – how was your relationship with him?
BH: I didn’t want to be intimate, at first I thought I wasn’t mature enough to handle a more intimate relationship. By this time, my friends had got quite far and thought back to the sex ed lessons we had had, which incidentally are all aimed at hetrosexual relationships. Anyway that’s how I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t mature and maybe a part of me didn’t really want to face the fact that I wasn’t attracted to him or boys at all. I wanted to be like my friends.

SG: At that time what did your friends think of him?
BH: Whilst they knew him they didn’t know him socially as I felt he was 3 years older and so there wouldn’t be much in common.

SG: How did you deal with the conflict that you didn’t like boys, when all of friends were so ‘obviously into boys’?
BH: Once when I was out with my friends a very attractive girl walked by, all my friends noticed and passed comment as did I. It was my comment that reinforced that I shouldn’t stray from what was considered the ‘norm’.

SG: What was your comment?
BH: I commented on her bum – everyone looked at me in a very strange way. So I stopped and carried on.

SG: So, eventually your relationship with him must have ended, if only on his behalf from sheer frustration of not getting anywhere?
BH: No it didn’t really happen like that. Yes, I didn’t find him sexually attractive and I resisted – a year or so into our relationship it turned ‘bad’.

SG: Bad?
BH: He got sexually aggressive and not just the once.

SG: Repeatedly? Where did this happen?
BH: The first time he did it, it was at his house. After that it was either at his house or my house – he would turn up to my house drunk or drugged up. Ring me continously on my mobile. Eventually I would go and answer the door as I didn’t want him to disturb my parents (this was quite late at night so they were asleep).

SG: Did nobody awake?
BH: No I was quite, I guess I had become immune to it.

SG: Why did you go to his house?
BH: Normally to see his mum, I used to get on really well with his mum – maybe that’s why I didn’t end it. But he had this power over me, I can’t explain why I carried on, I don’t know whether I feared rejection from my friends, whether I wanted to be ‘normal’. I don’t know.

SG: You must have confided in someone?
BH: Yes, 4 months after it had started I told my best friend, who hadn’t suspected anything was wrong. I guess I was good at pretending.

SG: What was her advice?
BH: To leave him, to seek professional help for what he had put me through. I didn’t follow her advise. I stayed with him.

SG: Why?
BH: I didn’t want to upset anyone, I wanted to be like everyone else. Although a few months later I had to tell my mum.

SG: You say you had to, was there some evidence – bruising, broken bones ones where you had to explain?
BH: Nothing like that – I was pregnant. Here I was in year 10 and pregnant, so I told her everything, including the fact that he forced himself on me.

SG: What was her reaction?
BH: You have to understand my mum really liked him. He was charming and polite and all the things your parents want from a boyfriend (that’s the side he showed) so she couldn’t conceive that was how it happened, she thought I had made it up to lessen the consequences on myself. Fortunately, I didn’t have to make any choices as I miscarried.

SG: So, did the relationship end after this?
BH: No, we were still going out though resentment was building within me. It ended very suddenly – he had an accident on a night out and died.

SG: How did you feel?
BH: Relieved, guilty, sad a whole mix of emotions.

SG: Did you seek any professional help?
BH: For a while I saw a school counsellor but that didn’t seem to help.

SG: Maybe, you weren’t ready?
BH: Maybe.

SG: So, how did you come out to your friends?
BH: I was at college, now and many of my school friends came to the same 6^th form and knew my history. At first I told them I was bi-sexual, I knew this wasn’t strictly true but I was testing the waters. My friends were fine, they didn’t think anything of it. This gave me confidence to eventually ‘come out’ properly. Firstly I told my closest friends, those from school. There were some who never spoke to me again, it was a time to find out who your real friends were. Those closest to me didn’t care, some even said they knew; whilst some new friends found it difficult in accepting me although they are over it now and we are friends.

SG: What about your family?
BH: That took longer, I only told them in the beginning of the upper 6^th year. Reactions were different – my dad suspected all along for various reasons and has accepted me there is no change in our relationship, my siblings I have a brother who didn’t think it was a big deal, and my sister who I am especially close too had like my dad suspected all along.

SG: Your mum?
BH: She does not accept it, she thinks it’s a ‘phase’ because of everything that happened before. She has even warned by siblings not to be encouraging of my current ‘status’. Our relationship wasn’t good before but it’s worse now, most of the time I try and stay away from her.  I believe it will take her time, years even but she will get there.

SG: Finally how is it now with your friends?
BH: At last I feel good, my friends accept me for who I am and I don’t have to be cautious of what I say if someone catches my eye! Whilst there are some hiccups (my mum) I am true to myself and my real friends are still here with me – it’s all good.

Dr. Balogun is MigMag’s Guest Psychiatrist – a little bit about him.

Femi Balogun is a medical doctor (He is currently a specialty registrar in forensic psychiatry at Oxleas NHS Foundation Trust and is on the Maudsley post-Graduate programme). Also a qualified and experienced adult educator, he has worked as a teacher/tutor of young adults in sixth form and further education colleges in Newham, Southend-on-Sea, Thurrock and Seattle. Dr Balogun has a special interest in child and adolescent psychiatry and is author of soon to be published ‘Mental health topics for teenagers-an illustrated guide’

All correspondence to femi.balogun@oxleas.nhs.uk

Sarah had been offered a university place to study performing arts and was on course to get the required grades. One warm summer night, accompanied by her mother, she presented to the emergency department of the local hospital. Her hair was dyed red and blue, she was dressed in bright mismatched colours with heavy make-up and a lot of jewellery. She was seductively dressed and had to be repeated cautioned to stop flirting with the triage nurse. Sarah hadn’t slept for more than a few hours in the past week; dismissing her mother’s concerns by saying she had no need for sleep. She spoke really fast and it was near impossible to interrupt her. She jumped from one topic to another in a rather unconnected way and told me her thoughts raced through her mind. Sarah said she felt invincible and said she had the power to heal people by just looking into their eyes. Her tearful mother reported that Sarah had been sexually involved with at least three different men since these symptoms began three weeks ago and she had needlessly bought clothes and shoes to the tune of about £700 in the last fortnight alone…

The history revealed that Sarah hadn’t been using illicit drugs, her brother was on medication for depression and her grandfather sadly committed suicide when he was in his forties. My first impression was ‘manic episode of bipolar affective disorder’.

Previously known as ‘manic-depression’, bipolar affective disorder is a severe mental illness that affects about 1 in 100 UK adults during their lifetime¹. It usually starts in the mid to late teens² with boys and girls being equally affected; though females have fewer manic episodes³. It is very unlikely to emerge after the age of 40 but for people with bipolar disorder, growing older doesn’t reduce the risk of getting further episodes. The primary part of the mind affected in this disorder is the mood and patients with bipolar disorder experience severe mood swings with recurring highs and lows presenting in a variety of combinations.

When the disorder comprises at least one manic episode lasting more than a week, doctors classify it as bipolar type 1. People with bipolar 1 disorder may have only manic episodes but most will also have periods of depression during their life time. A combination comprising a severe episode of depression with low intensity manic episodes (hypomania) is classified as type 2. When there are four or more mood swings within a twelve month period, the term ‘rapid cycling’ disorder is used. Rapid cycling bipolar disorder is not common and is often associated with other medical conditions such as underactive thyroid. About half of patients with bipolar 1 disorder may have a second manic episode within two years of the first ⁴

The highs and lows of bipolar disorder often have a profound disruptive effect on normal life functioning, and some patients will require hospital admission and treatment sometime during their lifetime. Less severe, less intense drawn out mood swings that are less disruptive to life functioning and last for over two years is referred to as cyclothymia. People with cyclothymia often don’t present to doctors (because of the sub-clinical intensity of their symptoms), until their condition develops into full blown bipolar disorder.

Like Sarah, patients on a high, experience (with extreme or mild intensity) manic symptoms such as over-activity, increased sex drive, excessive/extravagant spending, grandiosity, elation, reduced need for sleep, flurry of creative ideas, pressured speech (‘talking a blue streak’), flight of ideas (touching on different often unrelated topics without ever developing any of them) and with more severe intensity, hallucinations (hearing voices in external space when there’s no one around). There is an excess of manic episodes during the summer months⁵. On the contrary, patients on a low may experience despair, low mood, loss of energy and motivation, feelings of guilt, poor self-worth and hopelessness, a loss of interest in previously pleasurable activities and in more extreme forms suicidal thoughts ^6,7

Sarah’s history also demonstrates the important fact that bipolar disorder runs in families. Children with one parent or sibling who has bipolar disorder are 4-6 times more likely than children without a family history to develop the disorder. Nonetheless, most children with a family history of bipolar disorder will not develop the illness. The risk in identical twins is between 40-70% and if both parents have bipolar disorder, the risk of their child developing the disorder may be as high as 75%⁸

The mainstay treatment for bipolar disorder is a class of medicines called mood stabilizers. Lithium, valproate, carbamazepine, phenytoin, Lamotrigine and more recently quetiapine are all examples of mood stabilizers. With the exception of Lithium and quetiapine these medicines are also used in the treatment of epilepsy. In addition to mood stabilizers, doctors also treat the dominant symptoms of a patient’s presentation using anti-psychotic drugs (such as olanzapine) if the patient is psychotic and anti-depressants (such as fluoxetine) if the patient is depressed.  Lithium is an effective and widely used mood stabiliser and patients taking lithium long term are made aware of special cautions related to its use. Left untreated, manic episodes usually last 3-6 months while depressive episodes last 6-12 months¹.

References

1. Royal College of Psychiatrists, 2012
2. New Oxford Textbook of Psychiatry, Vol. 1, 2000, p720
3. Companion to Psychiatric Studies, 8^th Ed. 2010, p434
4. Kaplan and Saddock, Synopsis of Psychiatry 10^th Ed. 2007, p550-551
5. Shorter Oxford textbook of Psychiatry, 5^th Edition, eds Gelder M, Harrison P, Cowen P; P230
6. International Classification of Diseases Ed. 10 World Health Organization, 1994
7. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4^th Ed –TR, American Psychiatric Association, 2000
8. National Institute of Mental Health, 2012

I wasn’t diagnosed with bipolar disorder until I was 27 years old, I had been suffering with this debilitating mental disorder for over 13 years prior to my diagnosis. Intermitting from every course I had ever started and leaving every job I had ever had, however I was in complete denial that there was something wrong with me. Instead I struggled on until I could not longer… in August 2011 I tried to kill myself by taking a cocktail of alcohol, paracetamol and co-dydramol, thankfully this suicide attempt failed and I ended up in A&E, I stayed in overnight on a drip of paracetamol antidote under the constant watch of a body guard before being taken to a mental health assessment unit.

After being treated appallingly by my local mental health team I was in no position to trust anybody and was extremely nervous about spending 4 nights in a unit! It was like ‘One flew over the cuckoo’s nest’ teenage lads kicking the walls and lashing out at the staff, young girls pacing back and forth, elderly patients starring into space and a few like me reading their books. I couldn’t even hide in the bedroom they had given me as these were locked in the day so we were all forced into the communal area. I eventually settled in and even made some friends and actually I was a little sad when leaving!!

On leaving I met with my consultant who I have since seen monthly. I have been on a list of medications all part of the trial and error process, here are a few:- Aripiprazole, Procyclodine, Quetiapine, Diazepam and Sertraline I am currently on Quetiapine and I am hoping that this Anti-Psychotic will stabilize my moods and as a result stop the pattern of Extreme Highs followed by Severe Depression but its early days!

Unfortunately this disorder has left me with zero confidence and as a result I am having great difficulty getting back into my teaching career.

My moods are still unstable so I am reluctant to pursue anything in which I may let people down due to my absence.

This, as well as my dad starting to be abusive toward me affected my confidence and I started to withdraw from people and becoming more shy, which led to me struggling to attend college, eventually leading to poor grades, and once I finished college, led to a struggle finding employed work. It also impacted on my sexual relationships, I would manage to get girlfriends but wouldn’t allow them to be in my life for any more than a month and any mention of food would instantly mean I would have to distance myself from them. All of this stress impacted me and I started skipping all meals when possible, only eating one real meal a week when I would visit my mum for tea. I would have to justify this by walking on a coastal route path for up to six hours. It was around this time at the age of nineteen that I was officially diagnosed as having anorexia.

At twenty five I’m probably the perfect example of how eating disorders evolve. I’m no longer able to not eat for long periods of time, often binging and then having to exercise for hours and hours afterwards. From a simple exercise in attempting to cope with a difficult situation, I now suffer from extreme bouts of depression when I can’t get out of bed and social anxiety which is stopping me from functioning in society and doing the things I want to do (get a job, go to university, etc).

Men Get Eating Disorders Too’ is a registered charity in England and Wales no. 1139351

Registered postal address: c/o Community Base, 113 Queen Road, Brighton, BN1 3XG

We are in 21st Century Britain – discrimination is unlawful, we accept people, we don’t care about their backgrounds, skin colour, whether their boys or girls, whether boys like boys or girls like girls. Those thoughts are pre-historic probably for our parents or at the very least our grandparents. These days there are no barriers for any of us to achieve and be what we want to be, we love the minority and celebrate our differences – ‘live and let live’ that’s our philosophy. Is that really the case?  In the following interviews we will ask 2 teenagers their experiences of being ‘gay’

Brittanys’ Experience

How old are you?

I’m 18, in my last year of Sixth Form College.

How old were you when you came out?

I came out to my friends when I was 16 – it was the first term of college.

What age were you when you began to be aware that you were attracted to girls?

I was 13 when I began to think that I thought of girls in a different way from my friends, although I was going out with a boy at the time.

So you have been in a heterosexual relationship?

In a fashion, it’s quite complicated.

If it’s complicated, shall we start from the beginning? Firstly, your attraction to girls how did you know it was different from what your friends thought?

Ok, so when we were out in shopping malls, pictures, or even school anywhere, everywhere – my friends would comment on ‘fit’ boys. I didn’t know what they were talking about I just didn’t find them attractive.

Not all boys are attractive. Surely you could appreciate beauty, much in the same way girls would appreciate other girls being ‘pretty’?

Yes, there were good looking boys but nothing that made my tummy turn upside down – is that sexual chemistry. I just knew when I looked at girls I was checking them out looking specifically at different areas of their body and feeling excited and not thinking ‘oh I wish my body looked like that’! So it wasn’t a case of she’s pretty, she’s got a perfect body – B***CH!

Did you confide in anyone how you felt?

No, there were reasons firstly I was going out with someone, so I thought nobody would believe me. Also I wanted to be like everyone else. It was a confusing time.

The boy you went out with at the time – how was your relationship with him?

I didn’t want to be intimate, at first I thought I wasn’t mature enough to handle a more intimate relationship. By this time, my friends had got quite far and thought back to the sex ed lessons we had had, which incidentally are all aimed at hetrosexual relationships. Anyway that’s how I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t mature and maybe a part of me didn’t really want to face the fact that I wasn’t attracted to him or boys at all. I wanted to be like my friends.

At that time what did your friends think of him?

Whilst they knew him they didn’t know him socially as I felt he was 3 years older and so there wouldn’t be much in common.

 
How did you deal with the conflict that you didn’t like boys, when all of friends were so ‘obviously into boys’? 

Once when I was out with my friends a very attractive girl walked by, all my friends noticed and passed comment as did I. It was my comment that reinforced that I shouldn’t stray from what was considered the ‘norm’.

 What was your comment?

I commented on her bum – everyone looked at me in a very strange way. So I stopped and carried on.

So, eventually your relationship with him must have ended, if only on his behalf from sheer frustration of not getting anywhere?

No it didn’t really happen like that. Yes, I didn’t find him sexually attractive and I resisted – a year or so into our relationship it turned ‘bad’.

Bad?

He got sexually aggressive and not just the once.

Repeatedly? Where did this happen?

The first time he did it, it was at his house. After that it was either at his house or my house – he would turn up to my house drunk or drugged up. Ring me continously on my mobile. Eventually I would go and answer the door as I didn’t want him to disturb my parents (this was quite late at night so they were asleep).

Did nobody awake?

No I was quiet, I guess I had become immune to it.

Why did you go to his house?

Normally to see his mum. I used to get on really well with his mum – maybe that’s why I didn’t end it. But he had this power over me, I can’t explain why I carried on, I don’t know whether I feared rejection from my friends, whether I wanted to be ‘normal’. I don’t know.

You must have confided in someone?

Yes, 4 months after it had started I told my best friend, who hadn’t suspected anything was wrong. I guess I was good at pretending.

What was her advise?

To leave him, to seek professional help for what he had put me through. I didn’t follow her advise. I stayed with him.

Why?

I didn’t want to upset anyone, I wanted to be like everyone else. Although a few months later I had to tell my mum.

You say you had to, was there some evidence – bruising, broken bones ones where you had to explain?

Nothing like that – I was pregnant. Here I was in year 10 and pregnant, so I told her everything, including the fact that he forced himself on me.

What was her reaction?

You have to understand my mum really liked him. He was charming and polite and all the things your parents want from a boyfriend (that’s the side he showed) so she couldn’t conceive that was how it happened, she thought I had made it up to lessen the consequences on myself. Fortunately, I didn’t have to make any choices as I miscarried.

So, did the relationship end after this?

No, we were still going out though resentment was building within me. It ended very suddenly – he had an accident on a night out and died.

How did you feel?

Relieved, guilty, sad a whole mix of emotions.

Did you seek any professional help?

For a while I saw a school counsellor but that didn’t seem to help.

Maybe, you weren’t ready?

Maybe.

So, how did you come out to your friends?

I was at college, now and many of my school friends came to the same 6^th form and knew my history. At first I told them I was bi-sexual, I knew this wasn’t strictly true but I was testing the waters. My friends were fine, they didn’t think anything of it. This gave me confidence to eventually ‘come out’ properly. Firstly I told my closest friends, those from school. There were some who never spoke to me again, it was a time to find out who your real friends were. Those closest to me didn’t care, some even said they knew; whilst some new friends found it difficult in accepting me although they are over it now and we are friends.

What about your family?

That took longer, I only told them in the beginning of the upper 6^th year. Reactions were different – my dad suspected all along for various reasons and has accepted me there is no change in our relationship, my siblings I have a brother who didn’t think it was a big deal, and my sister who I am especially close too had like my dad suspected all along.

Your mum?

She does not accept it, she thinks it’s a ‘phase’ because of everything that happened before. She has even warned by siblings not to be encouraging of my current ‘status’.

Our relationship wasn’t good before but it’s worse now, most of the time I try and stay away from her.  I believe it will take her time, years even but she will get there.

Finally how is it now with your friends?

At last I feel good, my friends accept me for who I am and I don’t have to be cautious of what I say if someone catches my eye! Whilst there are some hiccups (my mum) I am true to myself and my real friends are still here with me – it’s all good.